The Extended Family of a Child with Disabilities
A child’s diagnosis or disability affects the extended family, too. Here’s how you can help them adjust.
Sharing the news
Having a large extended family can be both wonderful and challenging at the same time. When we as parents start to understand our child’s diagnosis, we naturally want to share that information with our extended family. And many factors come into play as each person learns the news about their grandchild, niece, nephew or cousin.
Just like your reaction as a parent, your extended family can also go through a cycle of grief. Even if it looks different than your grief, it is still grief. Grandparents, for instance, can be especially affected. They may grieve over their grandchild’s disability and their own child’s pain. They and the other members of your extended family can benefit from support and information, too.
Let them get to know your child
Give your parents and other members of your extended family opportunities to know your child as a whole person—not just a person with a disability. Help them to understand your child’s strengths and needs, and to accept him as part of the family. This can have other advantages: allowing family members to become more involved with your child may give you some much-needed time away from your caregiving responsibilities.
More information
Some material in this article was adapted from the National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities (NICHCY)’s The Unplanned Journey by Carole Brown, Samara Goodman, and Lisa Küpper.